Not Including Naruto
by kisaru
Summary: Sasuke returns from a mission. Naturally, he receives a welcome committee of beautiful kunoichi and women. Poor notincluded Naruto... [ SasuNaru fluff old Giftfic for Bailey ]


Because, you know, I have to delete my LiveJournal, but I still wanna save this story for Bailey (shibarania on FFNet-- she wrote On Your Knees! Check her out!), so I'm posting it here because FFNet is like my dump of old shit. You'll forgive me, right?

* * *

A large crowd had begun to gather at the gates of Konoha in a fashion like ants around an anthill. A blond whiskered boy frantically jumped up and down from the back of this crowd like a rabbit with six pairs of springs in each foot. His excitement was strong at first. But it soon died down, as he realized that even the loudest loudmouth boy in Konoha couldn't outshine the unbeatable force that was Sasuke's welcome-back committee. 

Their cries consisted of a variety of incomplete sentences like "Kyaa!" and "Sasuke-kun!" and "Welcome back-!" Many of them were girls. And though Naruto had maybe been Sasuke's closest friend for the past ten years, this friend could not push past even one tenth of the worshipping villagers. Every member of that crowd was pasted and glued to one another in one huge gelatinous waving mass of bodies. When Naruto tried to force his way through, the villagers would only give him hateful looks that rendered him naked and shivering to his gallbladder.

So Naruto had no choice but to give up.

Wait. Rewind. Did I hear correctly? Naruto, the Uzumaki Naruto, the Uzumaki Naruto that was going to become hokage one day, _gave up_? No. Naruto hadn't given up. Naruto never gave up. It was only that Naruto decided to put off his original intention of being the first to greet Sasuke back to the village.

Oh well, he thought. Sasuke had the entire village giving him plenty of warm welcome (and then some). That was more than anything Naruto had to offer.

Sasuke probably wouldn't care if someone insignificant like Naruto had said hello.

And so Naruto turned on his heel and walked back into the village, dirt gathering at the edges of his sandals from digging into the ground.

* * *

At the time, a certain lazy chuunin and dog boy were sitting in front of Ichiraku, waiting patiently for their orders of ramen to arrive. Neither of them had an natural affinity for ramen, but being around Naruto was like drinking chocolate syrup right before going to sleep-- it had some definite side effects. 

Kiba, with his shining white fangs and his gruff canine voice, was angrily explaining a past event involving his teammates to Shikamaru, his hands gesturing wildly in the air. "So I was all, 'Hinata, don't you worry! Shino and I here are gonna find that Iruka-bastard and punch his lights out!' And you know what Shino said?"

Shikamaru, with his pineapple haircut and dull eyes, was stirring the ice in his drink with the straw. As the soft clink of the ice reached his ears, he looked up at Kiba with the intensity of a dead fish. "Let me guess," he said. "...Nothing?"

"Exactly!" was the overacted reply. "I mean show your teammate a little support when he plans on beating up the teacher!" Kiba took a sip of his drink, letting out a sigh as he brought it away from his lips. "So fuckin' stup--"

"Kiba."

"Nn?"

Shikamaru pointed behind him.

Kiba halted his frustrated ramblings when he saw Naruto walking down the street with his orange jacket slung over his right shoulder. One would think that after meeting with Sasuke, the boy would be screaming obscenities like a middle aged man with a six-pack of beer at his side and an assault rifle wrapped around his left arm, but Naruto seemed calm. Perhaps even gloomy.

Kiba and Shikamaru looked at each other for a moment. A moment's staring brought them to mutual agreement. They nodded to each other before promptly looking back at Naruto with bored looks on their faces.

Shikamaru spoke first. "So you gave up?"

"Yeah," was Naruto's reply. The blond squinted his eyes shut, a bitter frown appearing on his face, as he plopped himself down in a seat beside his two friends.

His hands held onto the side of the counter apprehensively.

Kiba scoffed, taking the translucent green straw out of his drink and pointing it at Shikamaru (Shikamaru frowned as several water droplets were flung at his face). "Figures. There's no touching that guy anymore. It's like he's a..." He closed one eye to think of a metaphor. "...Like he's some sort of super _burger king_ or something."

"Or like we've gone down six social classes," Shikamaru added, grimly wiping his face with the back of his hand.

"Just ignore him, Naruto. He'll come crawling back to you eventually." Kiba bared his bright white teeth in a reassuring grin.

"Here's your ramen!" the owner said, setting two steaming bowls out in front of the boys. The swirling fish cakes seemed to smile up at the boys like swimmers face up in a dead man's float. "Ah-- Naruto!" the owner exclaimed as he turned to the blond. "I didn't see you there! I didn't even hear you! Well, what'll it be?"

Naruto released the tight grip he had on the side of the counter.

He raised a hand and called out, "Miso ramen, please!"

* * *

Long dark tresses bounced around a pale porcelain face as the woman slightly lowered her head in a bow to the young blond boy. A bird cried out softly in the distance, whipping across the sky with jet-like speed. The great summer sun burned down on our heroes in a mocking gesture. 

"Sorry," said the woman, "she isn't home right now. She went to welcome Sasuke back." The woman at the door gave an apologetic smile and bowed her head slightly once again.

Naruto's face fell. "Mou!" he groaned, puffing his cheeks out in frustration. "Thank you, anyway, lady. I'll leave then." And as the door closed quickly closed behind him, Naruto began stomping down the front steps, his cheeks about to burst from pressure. "Even Hinata went to see that bastard! I didn't think she was that kind of girl..."

"Maybe you should go say hello to Sasuke now, Naruto. He's probably back home by now," Kiba suggested.

Shikamaru scoffed and rolled his eyes. "If even Hinata isn't at home, then there is almost no chance that Sasuke will have had enough time to get home."

Kiba frowned. "Well, maybe the crowds are smaller by now, Naruto?"

"If even Hinata isn't at home, I doubt it." Naruto and Kiba's faces both fell at once. "But we can check..."

Before Shikamaru could finish that thought, Kiba suddenly lifted his head.

Quirking an eyebrow, the dog boy pointed his nose in the air and began sniffing. Naruto and Shikamaru looked at one another for a moment. Kiba then gave a nod of satisfaction, raised a hand, and pointed decisively in the 2 o'clock direction.

"Don't need to check."

Naruto turned his head around to see a large mass, of what seemed to be the young teenage girls of Konoha crowding around Sasuke, now parading past them. Why hadn't he heard it before? But Sasuke was right there in front of him! This was his chance, Naruto thought, quickly raising a hand in the air and waving it as though it were about to fall off any second. One hand cupped over his mouth as he bellowed in his loud ogre voice, "Oooi! Sasuke!"

But there was no response. Only screams came echoing back to the blond.

"Oi! Sasuke bastard! It's me! Naruto!"

Instead, the crowd paraded right past the three boys with the same fever as before, leaving Naruto, Kiba, and Shikamaru standing dumbly in front of the Hyuuga household.

Kiba sniffed the air again.

"...It's like Doppler effect with smells."

Naruto's eyes narrowed. _This isn't fair_, Naruto thought. His feet changed their stance on the ground. His fists clenched and unclenched. He shouldn't have this much trouble getting in contact with his friend, he decided. It wasn't right. And with the flit of his sandals pushing off from the Hyuuga doorstep, Naruto jumped off the front steps and ran after his dark-haired companion. Kiba and Shikamaru only watched, slightly surprised, from the sidelines.

Suddenly, Naruto couldn't feel the ground underneath his feet any longer as he caught up to the mob of girls and jumped right into them. Sharp shoulders and elbows dug into him from all sides and lifted him above the ground. His head whipped in the direction of where he thought Sasuke would be, and when he didn't see the raven-haired boy, he looked in a different direction. Only an old woman. Only a large pot. Sasuke had already left, and Naruto was already on the outside rim of his fanclub.

Naruto felt himself being thrown backwards out of the crowd.

He felt his back hit the ground.

He felt the rocks scrape into his skin.

And Uzumaki Naruto, _the_ Uzumaki Naruto, the Uzumaki Naruto that was going to become hokage one day whether the rest of the village gave a flip about it or not, could only stare up at the sky above him. A bird floated across the clear sky, giving a loud wail as it passed out of Naruto's vision.

* * *

"Hello, home," the blond said glumly. 

He stood in the doorway of his house, running his fingertips along the wall beside him and flipping the small light switch when he found it. With a long sigh of unreleased grief, Naruto stumbled inside and flung himself towards the kitchen.

A cup of ramen, he thought. That would definitely make him feel better.

Snatching a styrofoam cup from a shelf, he ripped the top open, held it underneath the water boiler, and began to pour water into the cup. Steam rose quickly from the dry flour noodles as Naruto imagined he was one of the noodles being loosened underneath the hot boiling water. He would be easygoing like the noodles. He would be free-flowing like the ramen. That would take his mind off that absolutely irritating, incompetent, annoying son of a bitch, bastard Sasuke. He would be in a small canoe on a sea of ramen. An old ferryman with a cone straw hat would row him slowly across the ocean.

Naruto had nearly zoned out completely, but a sharp pain in his hand snapped him out of his stupor.

"Shit!" he shrieked, jerking his hand back and dropping the styrofoam cup onto the floor. He jumped backwards, some of the hot water streaking across his legs in painful stings before he could avoid it. In all his flowing imagination, he had forgotten to stop pouring near boiling water and allowed it to overflow over his hands. There went his ramen, too. It had fallen clean out of the cup and onto the dirty floor. This was definitely a bad thing Naruto had done. Really so stupid. His eyes squinted shut. Really so deserving of a bad name like--

"You total idiot."

Naruto lifted his nose into the air in an arrogant gesture. instinctively, he replied, "Shut up, bastard..."

But that was until he trailed off and a sudden realization came over him. As though someone had thrown a vat of freezing cold sticky melon juice all over his body. Turning around, it became apparent that Sasuke was standing right beside him, watching Naruto with a thoughtful look on his face. The blond let out a yelp, jumping backwards until his back met the slippery kitchen counter. One hand supporting himself on the porcelain counter, he lifted a finger to point at the dark-haired boy standing in front of him. "Wh-What are you doing here!" he spat. "H-How did you get inside!"

"Your door was open, dunce," was Sasuke's even reply. "Anyone could have walked in and knocked you out by now. How did you not even notice me? Moron."

"I..." Naruto's eyes flitted away for a moment, suddenly remembering why he had been so distracted today. It was because Sasuke had been too distracted to even look at _him_. Glaring back at Sasuke, he gritted his teeth and said, "Well, why are you even here? I thought you'd be off partying with your harem of girls or something!"

Sasuke eyebrows furrowed. "No. Why would I do something stupid like that?" he said.

"So you just came over assuming I would be happy to see you like everyone else!" Naruto accused. "Not everyone is always waiting to bend every way you see fit, you know."

Sasuke flinched, his eyes darkening. "...Like I care what you think about me."

Naruto's hands held onto the side of the counter apprehensively.

Something. Something was grabbing onto Naruto's heart. It was digging into the blond's chest and twisting gently. It hurt, but not enough for him to consciously believe it hurt. It was only annoyance and irritation, he thought.

His hands gripped the counter even tighter. It was then that Naruto realized Sasuke was walking closer to him. Sasuke was uncomfortably close to him. Naruto tried backing up, only to realize that the only thing behind him was a bare counter cutting him off from the waist down. He began bending backwards on in a futile attempt to move away from the Uchiha.

"Idiot. You piss me off so much."

Sasuke's voice was just above a whisper.

"Asshole..." Naruto's eyes were now thin slivers of blue, the usually rough and shrill voice softening as the certain something pulled tighter at his chest. Through discomfort, there was also relief-- an awareness that you were alive. Perhaps, Naruto thought, he had forgotten that he was alive when Sasuke left.

Sasuke moved his face closer to the blond's. Their noses bumped together. Naruto hastily tried backing up once again, but this time, he fell back onto the counter, his feet no longer touching the ground, Sasuke standing between his legs.

Naruto's cheeks flushed red like a field of flowers bursting into full bloom. He could feel warmth between his legs. He could feel _Sasuke's_ warmth between his legs!

"Ah..." Naruto felt his hands being tightly gripped by the other boy. "Sasu--"

Sasuke bent down and sealed instantly sealed the blond's lips.

_Perhaps, Naruto thought, he had forgotten that he was alive when Sasuke left._

It was like being kissed by a wolf. Sasuke's lips were feral against Naruto's. They were possessive, hungry, and dominant. At the risk of sounding cliche, the shivers traveled down Naruto's back like bright red sports cars up and down the highway. When Naruto tried to gasp, he was only met with Sasuke's tongue making its way down his throat. His mouth opened in response, his own tongue reaching out to meet Sasuke's in a soft groan.

_Because he definitely remembered now._

Sasuke pulled away first. His face hovered above Naruto's, dark bangs hanging down and pooling over Naruto's whiskered cheeks. The Uchiha had soft eyes and pale, supple lips. It was all Naruto could do to keep his breathing even.

"...So cute."

A pause. Naruto briefly wondered if he had been hearing things. He raised his eyebrows in question.

When he saw the blond's response, Sasuke's face curled up in uncertainty. His lips stretched into a thin line. Should he say it? Or shouldn't he? That was what ran through that mind at the time.

"When you blush..." he began quietly, his eyes flickering away from Naruto's bright blue gaze. "It's cute."

Naruto's expression changed.

Wrenching his hand out of Sasuke's grip, he lifted a fist into the air and punched the Uchiha's flawless face clear across the kitchen and into the wall with a loud crash. The pots rattled around them. A cloud of dust began rising from Sasuke's side of the room.

Naruto squinted his eyes in a fit of white hot fury and pointed accusingly at the other boy, a dark smog of malice emanating from his finger. "Didn't I tell you!" he screamed. "Not everyone is always waiting to bend every way you see fit!"

_owari_

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_YEAH YEAH STFU STFU I'm not even a real writer-- Review already!


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